I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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