check it out our google latitudes are spooning
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
