Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
