why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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