Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
