At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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