So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
