I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
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the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
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you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize