so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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