Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
