No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
