last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
