ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
