I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
