Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
