you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize