just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
