I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
