Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
