now i know why i became what i already was.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
