Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
