Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize