Already got asked if we're dating
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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