Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's never too late to be topless.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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