you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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