and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
