If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
