Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize