ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
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Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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