You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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