Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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