So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
