If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
