Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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