Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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