Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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