My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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