you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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