It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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