I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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