How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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