Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
