Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
