So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
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Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
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I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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