I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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