Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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