I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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