i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
