Dual....:-)
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize