i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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