I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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