just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
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What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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