We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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