So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My ATM looks so different sober.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
