Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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