this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
