just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you inspire me to be a worse person
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
