dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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