Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
