Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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